In the book the Sibling Effect, Jeffrey Kluger says that most parents have a child that they favor and that they are liars if they claim otherwise. Were you the favorite child growing up? If you’re a parent, is there a child who’s just easier to get along with? It’s hard not to play favorites. But when parents play favorites, everyone loses.

Sadly, in the households of the three Old Testament patriarchs, you find unapologetic favoritism. Abraham favored Isaac over Ishmael. “Isaac … loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob” (Genesis 25:28). Jacob favored Joseph over his 11 other sons. This favoritism led to lying, fighting, jealousy, banishment, premeditated murder, and slavery. 

It’s natural to feel close to a person who has the same likes and passions as you. But when that’s how someone parents, when favoritism happens, it destroys trust and rips families apart. Even the favored child grows up broken as no one can love that child to the level of their blinded-by-favoritism parent. If this is happening, confess it to God and to your children. Change before everyone loses.

This is not how God the Father treats us. “God does not show favoritism” (Acts 10:34). Your heavenly Father loves you fully, eternally, completely. He doesn’t hold back. He forgives you with that same passion. If you’re a parent, don’t hold back your intentional, compassionate, and guiding love from all your children. May each child be absolutely convinced, “I’m the favorite!” It’s possible because that is what you are to God!