Ruth 2:3 contains some of my favorite words from the Bible book of Ruth. The words? “As it turned out.” As it turned out, Ruth, a widow and foreigner, ended up in the field of Boaz when she went to pick grain so she and her mother-in-law could eat.

She didn’t end up in the field of someone who chased her away, or worse, took advantage of her. She ended up in a field belonging to the godly man she would marry.

The words “as it turned out” are not supposed to make us think luck is a reality or coincidence is a strange phenomenon. “As it turned out” is nothing other than the hand of God or, as my NIV study Bible notes, “divine providence at work.”

As it turned out, I was recently on a plane and took note of a woman walking down the aisle on her way back from the bathroom. I also noted her determination to get through the airport once we landed. So it wasn’t too hard to note she was also there when I went to board my connecting flight, which we both thought we might miss. But because it was delayed, it turned out we had plenty of time. I said as much as I passed her to board.

As it turned out, this woman sat right next to me on the next flight.

Our small talk covered her first trip to Minnesota, what we do for jobs, and soon turned into a discussion about what she believed. As I listened, it became clear that this woman had been hurt, not by God but by bad doctrine. And when I said, “That must have made you feel worthless,” she lit up, because someone understood.

It’s easy to hate the sin; we get that. But Jesus also said it would be better for a person to have a millstone tied around their neck and be thrown into the sea than to lead one of his children astray (Matthew 18:6). So do we hate the people acting in the name of God who made this woman feel worthless too?

It’s certainly easy to do. Unfortunately, hating someone for what they did to us, even if what they did was detestable to God, is a heavy weight to carry. And God doesn’t want us to carry that weight. When Jesus died, he paid for every sin. He paid for every thoughtless word and uncontrolled action and atrocities we can’t even imagine.

Mine. Theirs. Yours.

And because of that, we do not have to carry hate around. Instead, Jesus tells us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44).

It seems like letting them off the hook. But it isn’t. Someday we will all face God, and he will sort out all we’ve done. Jesus said, “There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs” (Luke 12:2,3).

That should terrify us all. God not only saw everything that was said and done to us; he sees all the thoughts and hears all the careless or cruel words that go through our minds or are mumbled under our breath. We are all born into sin. Our sin-corrupted hearts want to think only of ourselves.

When we pray for the people who hurt us, God softens our hearts. Anger slowly turns to concern, and hatred starts to look a little more like love. We start to let go of the hurt, because that too is a heavy weight to carry. And somehow by praying for them, God starts to heal us.

Jesus came to settle the score we could never settle, to free us from the wages of sin. We aren’t meant to carry sin, theirs or ours. It’s a burden far too heavy to bear.

It sounds so easy, but it can be so hard. So don’t do it alone. Pray for a Jesus-loving friend who recognizes when you slip back into old habits. They will remind you to put it all down: the anger, hurt, resentment, bitterness—whatever creeps in to steal the joy of knowing God and his grace.

We do it because God asks us to. But when we do, we find, as always, it’s a better way to live.