Do you know someone with a short fuse? a hot head? someone who might benefit from anger management classes? Ironically, what that person would learn at the first class would be that they don’t, in fact, have an anger problem. That’s because anger is actually a secondary emotion.

It would be like asking a doctor to treat your sudden loss of sight or speech. After performing an assessment, the physician would do very little to address the immediate sight/speech symptoms and EVERYTHING to address the fact that you are having a stroke.

Anger is a symptom. Anger bubbles up when we don’t feel that it’s safe to show our primary feelings. It would be way too vulnerable to say that we’re feeling hurt, disrespected, or neglected, so we slam the cupboard door, go on a tirade, or punch a hole in the drywall.  

“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God” (James 4:1,2).

Rather than masking those scary primary emotions with angry outbursts, you can take your hurt, fear, and unmet needs to God. He will hold you.

The next time you’re seeing red, stop and ask, “What am I trying to hide?” Then entrust yourself to the care of the Great Physician. He’ll get to the heart of the issue.