It’s hard to know what to say in hard and tragic times, isn’t it? What do you say when a child is back in the hospital for the umpteenth time? How do you express the sadness when you discover that your friend’s spouse is verbally and emotionally abusive? Words are often inadequate in the face of heartbreaking tragedy.

Even though I’m not really known for being silent, I often refer to the story of Job (pronounced Jobe), a man who lived thousands of years ago who lost all his children and all his wealth in the blink of an eye. His friends came and sat with him for seven days without saying a word. Brilliant! 

You see, too often we try to explain away grief or to minimize pain that isn’t ready to be eased. That’s why I like the reminder in Ecclesiastes 3 that there is “a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, … a time to be silent and a time to speak” (verses 4,7).

Even though believers in Jesus know that grief here on earth is nothing compared to the eternal glory of heaven, we still weep and mourn. There’s a time for that.

Still need something to say? When a friend lost her young husband in a tragic accident, another friend told her, “I’m sorry this is part of your story.” What a lovely way to express sadness over the reality of the situation without minimizing the hurt.